Interestingly, there is a communication theory called "Imagine Interaction Theory" that describes this phenomenon. From this theory, we know that our imagination can help us to be more effective in our communication by proactively and/or retrospectively evaluating our communication by looking for ways to improve.
In this way, we are not looking at the "botched" communication as frustrating but as helpful. It is a strategy we can use to change the way we communicate, allowing us to reflect on past and future communication experiences.
There are lots of picture books that are about imagination and imaginary play including: Let's Do Nothing by Tony Fucile and Imagine a Day by Sarah Thomson and Rob Gonsalves. In fact, many of my favorite books are about imagination like, Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak and Duck on a Bike by David Shannon.
Many picture books involve imagination and they are amazing. But I am still looking for a book that specifically captures how we can imagine better communication. A book that says something like, "I should of said this" and "I could of said that." Next time, "I will say this". This format is pretty boring but I know of a lot of amazing author's who could write something wonderful with this in mind.
When thinking about imagination and communication, good stories can help. They open us up to new possibilities that may be even outside the scope of our own imagination. A good story can anchor our identity while pushing us to our potential. It keeps us grounded while setting us free.
A good story may even help us to figure out the right thing to say at the right time. Imagine that! Now, wouldn't that be magical? I think so.
I know exactly what you're talking about! Sometimes when I know a big or important conversation is coming I plan the entire thing out in my head but end up forgetting practically everything when the conversation actually happens. I also use picture books to relate to certain things, for example I sometimes give my mom a book about family or love for Mother's Day or her birthday with a little note written inside. I think it's a real personal way to show your appreciation for someone you care about.
ReplyDeleteI bet your mom loves it! What a great suggestion and awesome present!
ReplyDeleteIt used to happen to me a lot more!!! And then after I'd leave the conversation I would have my own one in my head of how I should have responded. The frustration was--well, frustrating! Now I try to not give it as much importance because it's done. But I do try to be proactive in what I'm gonna say in a future conversation and plan it better so I don't have to feel frustrated after. However, it's hard to be prepared for a future talk because you can't possibly predict what direction the conversation will take. Anyway, thanks for sharing something so relatable! I had no idea this dilemma had a formal name!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a lecture I once had on stories. Anecdotes are a great way to communicate an idea or lesson. And the great thing about story telling is that it is a form of art, and can be interpreted in many ways. People say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think a story could be worth more. Think about any literature class you have had. The author tells a story and every reader can pull a different message from it. Thats just some food for thought.
ReplyDeleteWell if a picture is worth 1000 words and a book is worth even more its clear to me why professor Fetzer uses "picture books" to really impact listeners. Storytelling is definitely one of my favorite topics this year.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"A good story can anchor our identity while pushing us to our potential. It keeps us grounded while setting us free."
ReplyDeleteWhat a great quote! Stories definitely help us make sense of the world around us and imagining future or past interactions really can help us improve our communication skills. This semester I have been studying a lot about Imagined Interaction Theory and Narrative theory. So this post just rang true to to me. We have so many experiences in our personal day-to-day lives. On top of that, we are bombarded with stories from our family, friends, and the media. The best way to improve our communication (in my mind) is to come to the table open, with a good attitude and with the best parts of all the stories- imagined or real- that we've thus far experienced.
Last week i forgot one of the most important memorized "proposals" of my life. If you told me before that i would forget what i planned to say i would have been even more fearful than i originally was; however, the proposal went great. My fiancés favorite favorite movie is You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Her favorite part of the movie is when they finally meet in the end at the 91st garden in the upper west side of New York City. Last Thursday night i surprised my fiances with two plane tickets to New York City. The purpose of the trip was of course the proposal and also a little vacation. Once we landed after a red-eye flight we went directly to the park where i popped the question. Because of the lack of sleep from flying all night i forgot everything what i was going to say. Ultimately it didn't matter she was so flattered by my thoughtfulness in the proposal and because we love each other she said "Yes!"
ReplyDeleteDerek! Congratulations! That is wonderful!!!
DeleteI had Imagined Interaction Theory work against me during finals-- after an hour and a half of presentations, I couldn't remember everything I wanted to say during mine and ended up doing the bare minimum.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have experienced the frustration of not saying what we wanted to. I think most problems come from miscommunication, not that people necessarily have differing views on something. The idea of proactively evaluating our communication is Huge! When we evaluate ourselves in anything, we can get better. Communication is very important and evaluation of our communication can transform us into successful, highly effective people.
ReplyDeleteI am ALWAYS trying to "be prepared" with why I am going to say. I admit it hinders my listening, and I have had to make myself pay more attention to whomever I am conversing with.
ReplyDeleteAlso, congrats to Derek S. on his engagement!
I found the idea of Imagine Interaction theory to be fascinating,I wonder how we learn to do this, and what motivates us to begin analyzing ourselves.
ReplyDelete