Don't Communicate like a Chicken!

I believe that communication can change the world, even if it is just one conversation at a time.

Communication can build relationships, heal communities, mend fences, repair broken hearts, lift souls, alleviate pain and suffering, rebuild, restore, improve and renew peoples, communities, culture and nations.

Unfortunately, it can also be as equally destructive and hurtful. It can tear families apart, damage others, shatter lives, sabotage relationships, erase identities, crush souls, and destroy communities, cultures, and nations.

It is that powerful


and 


that is why I care about it so much.




The problem is that often we don't work hard enough on our communication. We take it for granted or focus on other things or we are rude and disrespectful when we communicate. We are like the chicken in the picture book, Interrupting Chicken.

Sometimes the problem is that we are busy trying to fix the other person in the relationship. We think we are being helpful but we are not. We spend to much time criticizing the other person. Does this sound familiar, "If only, you would stop doing this..." or "You need to do this better..." This style of communication is counterproductive. It is belittling and destructive to the relationship.

There are better ways to communicate!

Five Ways to Improve our Communication:

1. Reciprocity: Communicate unto others the way in which you would like them to communicate unto you. Do you really want someone telling you all of your faults all of the time? Wouldn't you rather have someone appreciate you, care about you, love you?

2. Ask yourself what you really want--really! If we are honest, we usually want to be "right!" --at whatever cost. This is not useful. Most of us have a lot of pride and ego involved in our communication. However, the cost of being "right" is too high! What most of us really want most of the time is: love, kindness, happiness, and a healthy relationship--our communication needs to facilitate these things not hinder them! Don't be a "right fighter." Being right usually equals being alone and sad.

3. Remember the power of reframing! If a conversation is not going the right way (anger, tears, relationship destruction), try something new! Anything new! You have the power to change the course of a conversation from negative to positive! You really do! I promise!

4. Fight for a healthy relationship! Don't give in. Don't fall into apathy and indifference. Laziness in communication threatens relationships.

5. Imagine a better way! Use visualization techniques to improve your communication and then try it. Also, ask your partner to imagine a better way (sincerely with an open mind) and then talk about it! Don't be afraid to talk about communication. This is a focus on meta-communication and an effort to make improvements.

These strategies can help us improve our communication.

It is within our reach.

Culture and Picture Books

“A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the souls of its people." --Ghandi 

What is culture exactly?

"Culture is the learned, shared symbols, language, values, and norms that distinguish one group of people from another"--K. Floyd, Communication Scholar.

Culture is learned. Our culture is more about who raises us, where we grow up, our friends, our media, our schools, and so forth, rather than our DNA. 

We live in a beautiful multicultural world. This enriches our lives by offering us more breadth and depth of possible life experiences. 

There are four major components of culture:

i. Symbols: something that represents an idea.

ii. Language: researchers believe that there are about 6,800 languages used in the world. Language allows us for written and speech communication. It passes culture from one generation to the next.  Many languages are in danger of extinction. 

iii. Values: the standards a culture uses to judge how good, desirable, or beautiful something is. 

iv. Norms: rules and expectations that guide people’s behavior.

These four components of culture help structure it but the people are the actual essence and aesthetic of a culture. 

Unfortunately, in the world of picture books our beautiful multicultural world isn't represented very well. 

There are some organizations like First Book.org who are working to fix this. I support their efforts! 

I hope to read many more books that do a better job at representing our beautiful and diverse world.